This is the first part in a series of perspectives about what it is like to live in the Lucky Wife’s household through the Covid-19 outbreak.
Maybe you’re wrong and are doing it different, but here is my average morning:
5:00am – I’m having shortness of breath. Our 6 month old puppy who already weighs 60 pounds has his paws on my chest. For the past few months he has tricked us into thinking he needs to go outside before dawn but really he’s just hungry. After feeding him nearly a pound of food and forcefully shoving him outside to go to the bathroom (he really was only hungry) I try to fall back asleep.
6:10am – I’ve been asleep for 15 seconds when I hear the boys walk out of their room talking about what they want to do when they go downstairs.
6:11am – The boys are in the bathroom now speaking at full volume and scooting wooden step stools across tile. I spring to my feet and dart out of the room to quiet them before they wake their sis….
6:11am – Alice starts calling for mommy. Trying to be a hero, I dash into Alice’s room to quiet her so the lucky wife can sleep a little bit longer.
6:15am – After everyone pees and I get to flush we head downstairs to argue over what to do while I make breakfast.
6:44am – I usually get distracted by scaring the shit out of myself reading the news while the kids watch cartoons. Now I head to the kitchen.
6:45am – My Sanctuary – I carefully review ingredient ratios to ensure even baking. I assemble my utensils mise en place* and begin my culinary exploration. Fortunately, the instructions are written neatly on the back of the 10lbs Costco bag of pancake mix that we panic bought.
7:00am – Voila! Nine 4” gourmet chocolate chip pancakes.
7:05am – While my brood feasts, so do I… on the opportunity to peacefully unload the dishwasher.
7:30am – With the dishes done and the dishwasher empty, the kids can put their dirty dishes directly into the empty machine, bypassing what is now a completely spotless kitchen. This is a professional parenting move.
7:58am – Au pair Amanda rises from the basement like a phoenix to mercifully relieve me of parenting duties.
8:00am – ……
Come back for more daily perspectives, stories, updates, and pictures of the dog.
* French culinary term for everything in its place. Read a book.